Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Kevin Fanning is the author of the short story collection Jennifer Love Hewitt Times Infinity, which I advise your run out and get specially if you are a Party of Five fan. His stories can also be found online like here. A lot of his short stories that I've read onlne are brief but quite brilliant. You gotta give props to anyone that manages to write an extremely awesome literary short story collection with Jennifer Love Hewit as the main character/metaphor. Below are his answers to the questionnaire.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Not having to worry about anything.

2. What is your greatest fear?

That I'll never actually finish anything.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I am short-tempered and crabby almost all of the time.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Being jerks.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

My partner. She is super smart.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Extravagance is hard in my tax bracket. I guess mp3s. Yes I pay money for music, and not only that, but it's how I take care of myself.

7. What is your current state of mind?

Worried, freaking out, stressed.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

I can't even think of one virtue off the top of my head. OK I looked up virtue on Wikipedia. This questionnaire, honestly. Could it be rewritten with some questions that are more applicable to modern life? "How would you describe your entourage?" "Why should any of the good people of Brooklyn be interested in you?"

But OK so Wikipedia has a good list of virutes. I pick "poverty" as the one that is over-rated.

9. On what occasion do you lie?

When my kids catch me in a logical fallicy.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

When I look in the mirror I am disappointed that I am not just a brain in a jar.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

There are so many! I could not even choose. Basically anyone who ignorantly tosses around their notion of "values" in order to do me and my loved ones harm.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

I like a man to have a certain easy-going watchability. The man I am referring to is Ryan Reynolds.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

I like a woman who can write. I like a woman who can point out how little I know about the world.

And I guess the person who wrote this list did not know any transgendered people. The quality I like most in a transgendered person is that they are trying harder than anyone to be true to themselves.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

"Like," "OK," and "SHUT UP ARE YOU SERIOUS."

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My special lady friend. Come on, man, she's reading this. Like I was really going to say Ryan Reynolds.

16. When and where were you happiest?

I'm counting on this happening somewhere in the future.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

Finishing the things I start, and liking the way they turned out.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would like it if worry and panic were not always my default initial responses to everything.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I'm not answering this. Check back in 40 years.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

A duck or a kingfisher or something. Any kind of deal where you can walk, OR swim, OR fly. That would be ideal.

21. Where would you most like to live?

In the city, where I don't need a car. But also far off in the country, so I don't have to be around people.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

Does a family count as a possession or is that creepy. It's a little creepy, I guess. So, a necklace made of human eyeballs.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Holy smokes this questionnaire goes on forever, yeah? Anyone bored? Can I get you something? Lemonade?

24. What is your favorite occupation?

I have so much writing I should be doing right now.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

I tend to get a little bored with overlong quesionnaires that take themselves too seriously.

26. What do you most value in your friends?

They put up with me.

27. Who are your favorite writers?

I have a lot of friends who are really good writers.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

Honestly, come on.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I'm getting stressed thinking about all the writing I'm not getting done right now.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

Having heroes is dumb.

31. What are your favorite names?


32. What is it that you most dislike?

I am pretty sure this was asked somewhere up above, a couple dozen questions ago. Has anyone edited this list? Maybe I am farther down than anyone else has ever gotten before. At least I accomplished this one thing in my life.

33. What is your greatest regret?

I was never not easily distractible.

34. How would you like to die?

No thank you!

35. What is your motto?

What's next.

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