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This SS-Waffen Tuxedo is Stained With Salty Tears By Fawzy Zablah

He thought he was at the wrong church because he didn’t recognize anyone in the Wedding party of which he was suppose to be a part of. But once he got a good look at the people, he confirmed that he didn’t know anyone at all. He looked for the name of the church to make sure he was at the right one. It was the Church of Our Fuhrer Adolph Hitler. It was the right place.

After taking photos with the other groomsmen, where he stood out like a sore thumb despite his rented SS-Waffen style tuxedo, he went and stood outside the church. This was only the second time he’d wore a tuxedo, let alone a Waffen uniform and he didn’t know what to do with his hands. He tried to put his hands in his coat pockets when he realized that it looked funny and it was uncomfortable. He looked at the other men in their pale gray uniforms and Swastika arm bands, paying attention to how they put their hands in their pants pockets, under their jackets or just stood with their hands in front of them. He copied the hands in the pants pocket look and checked his jacket button. He realized he still felt uncomfortable, so instead he took out his cell phone and began to text, but then midway through he saved it to draft.

It was 6 o’clock and the South Florida evening was wrapping itself nicely in the mid-February climate. It was cool and windy, and there hadn’t been many days like this recently. He took out his cell phone again and started to read his inbox text followed by his outbox text. There was a group of three young women standing across from him in the church. He would glance but he didn’t try to get anyone’s attention. When he put his head down to read his text, he felt their eyes on him.

His brother arrived twenty minutes later and he went out to meet him in the parking lot. His two little nephews were in their tuxedos. One was six, and the other three and you could tell they were brothers. The younger one initiated rebellions wherever he went. The older one had found maturity in a way, and just simply watched and commented. He could not stop talking about being the ring bearer.

“Are they here yet?” his brother said.

“No, looks like we’re the first from our family. There’s like eighty people on the groom’s side. We got like what -- six?” 

“Isn’t that funny?”

“I guess.”

“They thought it was hilarious the other day at the dinner.”

His brother’s wife came around from the other side of the mini van with a small baby bag filled with toys.

“Hey you,” she said. “Are we all ready? Is Gretchen here?”

“Nope,” he said.

“Well let’s go,” she said. “Michael, grab your uncle’s hand.”

He grabbed his nephew’s hand and they walked all together to the church.

Once inside the church, and before the bride arrived, he stood on the side and began to text. The text read:

I’m here. There are hardly any people on the bride’s side. I don’t know anybody.

Five minutes later, a text came back that read:

Oh my goodness! That is crazy, but good so you can meet lot’s of ladies!!

He sent back another text that read:

I don’t know why I agreed to do this. I basically got roped in. I’m not even close with Gretchen. I think she asked just because she needed one more person to fill it.

He pressed send and put the cell phone back in his pocket. When the limo arrived he looked for Marcela, the girl he was supposed to walk with in the ceremony. She was the third girl out. They went up to each other and he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she said, kissing him on the cheek.  

“What do I need to know?”

“Just watch the couple in front of you. When they reach halfway, then we go. And don’t walk too fast. Your nephew stubbed my toe yesterday.”

“Is it bad?”

“No it's not. But just walk normal - there’s no special walk.”

“Got it.”

She looked at him once more and walked off to talk to the other bridesmaids. He stood next to the other groomsmen, and he couldn’t smile no matter how hard he tried. His nephews were making the flower girls laugh. His brother was over-seeing them. His sister-in-law was chasing around the bride in the special room where they get ready. It seemed that his problem was that he didn’t know what to do with his hands. If he could solve that, then he would be alright and he could make it through the night.

When Mendelssohn's Wedding March started he

stood in his place next to Marcela and ready to walk. She waited until the last minute to place her hand in his arm. When the couple in front of them reached the half way point, they began their walk into oblivion.

Above the groom, he could see a framed photograph of the Fuhrer below the Nazi eagle and Swastika. There were also two huge red banners draped to the right and the left with big, black swastikas. Next to the groom was of course the SS Notary holding a copy of Mein Kempf. Hail Hitler, he said, and with that enthusiastic Nazi salute, the official ceremony began.

He told his brother that he would follow him to the reception. But right before he arrived at the banquet hall, he called him up and told him he was feeling sick and that he was going home. His brother was fine with it and asked him to call him later so he can tell him how it went.

When he made the U-Turn on the main road, he began texting at a red light. The text read:

I’m coming over. What do you want to eat?

A text came back and it read:

Nooooop I just ordered something. I didn’t think you were serious! Stay and enjoy the party!

He quickly started texting back while driving. When he finished and it was sent off that particular message read:

I don’t like those people. They’re assholes. I’ll show u the pictures I took. I didn’t even really want to do this. I’m just gonna hang at the office for a little bit and go home.

Then a text came back which read:

Well, let me rephrase. You can stop by of course, but no need to bring me food, unless you are only stopping by to feed me out of obligation ;)

Then before he could respond, another text came after that one and it read:

I am scared here by myself!!!

He wrote back: I’m on the way :)

When he arrived at the empty office building he parked his yellow Volkswagen one space away from the black one. When he got out the car, he made sure to put on the jacket and button it up. He stopped in front of the door and fixed the tie. The parking lot was empty with very little light. The office where he had parked in front of was the only one with the lights on. Through the glass door you could see the entire office. It appeared empty inside. He took out his keys and opened the door and locked it behind him.

“I’m here,” he said.

He walked deep into the office and around a corner to a room with six cubicles. The girl, who was a brunette with dark brown exalting eyes, turned around in her chair.

“You look handsome.”

He took a chair right in front of her cubicle and sat down with the smile still in his face.

“And you smell good.”

“I clean up well.”

“How was the wedding?”

“It was fine. I didn’t wanna be there. I walked the girl and that went as well as expected. She kept telling me to walk slow.”

She looked at his tie.

“She chose the Gray SS-Waffen uniform, well it makes sense since the groom is in the party.”

“Yes,” he said, looking down at his tie. “Do you like it?”

“When I get married I think I want the bridesmaids to wear traditional colors. What color was the Groom's uniform?”

“It was black.”

“Yeah?”

She turned her head to keep checking at the computer.

“So you ordered food he said,” looking at her shoes.

“Yes, I didn’t really think you were going to come. I thought you were joking with me.”

“I wouldn’t have come just to drop off food anyway, I wanted to see you.”

“So the reception just ended?”

“I didn’t go.”

“You didn’t go? Why?”

“I didn’t want to. I'm not too fond of Nazis. I mean, I don’t know them but I just didn’t want to go. I’d rather spend time with you.”

She gave him an uncomfortable smile.

“I can’t believe you. Well why should you be there if you didn’t really want to be there. 

Did you bring the photos?”

He took out his digital camera from his back pocket and switched through the three photos of him and his nephews he took before leaving for the church.

“Cute kids those nephews of yours.”

She smiled and looked at him.

“What did you order?”

“A salad and fried Zucchini. They’re taking long. I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t want the delivery guy to see me alone.”

“Their fried zucchini is good,” he said.

After the food arrived, she shared her fried Zucchini with him. And they sat on her desk and ate and talked some more.

“Did you make your decision?”

“Yes, and don't be mad.”

“I won’t.”

His chest ached. She smiled brightly.

“I talked to them that I will be leaving.”

“Okay and you're sure?”

“Yes, pretty sure. We need to take risks in life, you know? And it’s the perfect time. Klaus and I are not married yet. We don’t have any kids. This is the best time for me. It’s either now or never like they say. Are you mad?”

“No, but I’m gonna miss working with you.”

“We’ll still talk and text each other all the time. Are you sad?”

“A little bit. Are you really sure about this? We have job security with the Third Reich. It’s hard to find that again. I know I’m being selfish. I just don’t want you to leave me.”

“I’m sorry I can’t. The Third Reich is bloated and on the verge of collapse, all the satellite states are breaking away. The Fuhrer is a dying religion, and I already made my decision. But I will still be here for a little longer, I wont be leaving for at least three weeks. You can have my desk.”

She smiled at him.

“Okay, I’ll get your desk,” he said with a half smile.

After eating they watched television. He looked at her while she watched the sitcom. She didn't take her eyes of the television.

An hour later they stood outside the office under the night sky right in front of their cars. They looked at each other.

“Are you going to eat more when you get home,” she said.

“Maybe. I don’t know. The Zucchini kind of filled me.”

“Are you going out tomorrow?”

“Yes, I don’t know where yet.”

“Are you going out tonight?”

“No, would you like to do something?”

“Not today. I'm tired.”

“Are you going out tomorrow?”

“I rented that Knut Hamsung movie. Becoming Becoming Knut.”

“Tell me how it is.”

“I'll let you borrow it when I finish watching it. When I first got it, Klaus didn’t want to watch it. So we watched a a wanna be Hollywood cowboy movie set in Berlin.”

“What was it called?”

“Once upon a time in Berlin.”

“Was it good?”

“The beginning was slow but the ending was good.”

At this point, they both looked up at a very bright star in the night sky. After a few seconds, her head came back down to look at him. He was still looking at the star.

“Well, I must be going, Klaus must be wondering where I'm at.”

He didn't say anything.

They both got in their cars and followed each other out of the parking lot. When they took different exits he stopped looking for her car in his rear view mirror.

As he continued driving tears began to fall down his cheeks like people going down a giant water slide. And those bob sled tears raced to his chin and all the way to the neck of his SS-Waffen tuxedo. He didn't wipe his face. He started thinking about what the older gentleman at the Tuxedo Rental had said about not charging him the deposit because he had an honest face and was confident he would bring back everything in order.

He had to return it tomorrow before noon or he would be charged extra. He saw himself returning it in the dead of morning explaining to the gentleman that the tuxedo was stained but only with tears. And the man would say, 'what?' It's stained with tears. With what? This tuxedo is stained with tears. Tears are fine, they can be washed away, they don’t really stain. No, You are wrong. Tears do stain, and I’m telling you that this SS-Waffen tuxedo is stained with tears! My tears! Okay, the gentleman would say. I get it. I get it, you need to relax. Calm down. I understand now. The tuxedo is stained with your tears of deep sorrow. It’s understandable. I get it now. I will not charge you extra. And his response to the gentleman’s assurance would be to put his head down on the glass counter.

And how was the ceremony, the gentleman would say.

THE END

Five Qs with Noah Cicero

1. What do you enjoy most about writing?

Writing dialogue.

2. If you could choose one book (any book) that best describes you which would it be?

Of Mice and Men

3. Do you feel hopeful or hopeless about humanity? Like as far as world peace and if we'll be around much longer?

On Netflix and on television there are a lot of 'civilization is destroyed' themed narratives, because those are easy narratives to write, and it catches people's attention. Those narratives, ask Cormac McCarthy lol, jerk off. It is so easy to write a world ends story, everything you need is there, alienation, paradigm shift, loss of hope, redemptive moments, forest scenes, moral choices, it is easy, even the most untalented writer could pull at least one 'end of the world' narrative out of their ass.

The narrative is not true though, mankind can live without oil and natural gas, China had like 900 million people in 1975 and barely used any oil or natural gas, and they lived. And when things got hard 20 million died, but they went on. America, Central America and South America have epic amounts of good farm land, we have so much food we make Cheetos and Dunkin Donuts and turn some of it into fuel for cars and then use some for tobacco, we have so much land for food it is insane.

Think about it like this: all we need to live is potatoes, some wheat and eggs, maybe throw in an apple every third day. It is just that everyday we eat high tech meals, for me I eat organic wild blueberry jelly, frozen tortellini, pop tarts, blueberry scones in a cute little plastic package. Those foods are high-tech, they are put together in factories and packaged and designed to be cooked quickly. Well, you could easily go to a grocery store and just eat potatoes, bread, peanut butter, apples, eggs and not die. But we never think that like that.

I think what is happening, is that the Renaissance or the Age of Enlightenment is over, science and technology did not save us, the farthest we ever got was the moon, we couldn't even cure psoriasis or diabetes, 96% of the universe is dark matter and dark energy and we don't even know what that is, science and technology has led to global warming and epic environmental destruction, capitalism never made more than 20% of the population happy in very specific countries and it discards the bottom 20% as garbage. And this just makes people feel fucked inside, which has led a lot of people to investigate Buddhism and chakras and crystals, because we've come to realize that lying on your bedroom floor with a crystal on your forehead is more calming and fun than watching television or buying things endlessly. Millennials have really woken up to the absolute dumbassery joke mockery that is our civilization.

I think what people are really afraid of, is the mid 2020s, several big moments are coming then, the older population that votes Republican will either be infirm in hospital beds or dead, the Hispanic population will have grown in states like Texas to such a point that a Republican pres candidate will never get voted in again, no gerrymandering is going to save the Republicans in the 2020s. It will be obvious that the Republicans are doomed in the 2020s, which means the rich will have no where to go to get their immoral laws made (But I don't know what this means exactly, the Democrats take a lot of corporate money, so the Democrats could turn into Republicans, they are basically 70s Republicans now, but Democrats aren't racist/homophobic/women hating like Republicans are, and I don't think the Democrats would ever go that far to the right. Which makes it exciting, because no one knows what will happen.) 

Also at this time, it seems like gas prices might get up to $8 to $10 a gallon, which would basically destroy people making less than $40,000 a year, which is a lot of people. 

And there is the problem of the economy, there is no innovation in the economy, everyone is really proud to work for corporations and the service economy, there doesn't seem to be any attempt at all to rebuild the manufacturing base or bring younger people into farming, and the government gives 2/3rds of its subsidies to farmers that grow food for animals to become meat, fucking joke

I think 'the fear' is that technology did not create a utopia, and that utopia actually means slave labor hidden away making all the white man's toys and food, so he can sit on top of his throne looking down at brown people and scruffy white trash smiling like a devil.

Sometimes I think that the white male Republicans are destroying everything with such powerful emotion and enthusiasm because they hate the idea of brown and black races and women having what they have so much, they want to blow it all up in some kind of crazy anarchist/Russian nihilist dick move of the century. It just kills them to see a black person president, and it is gonna kill them when they see a woman president, they are close minded/bitter/self loathing/out of shape/sad people, they like to cause pain, they like the idea of children not getting enough to eat, they like people's parents dying of easy to cure diseases, they like the idea of student debt causing a lot of stress in a young person's mind, they like Gaza babies blown to pieces, little baby arms dismembered, they like the idea of a Muslim holding his dead baby crying, it isn't chill, not chill at all.

4. If you could have dinner with anyone - historical figure, old friend, who would it be and what kind of restaurant would you choose?

Norman Mailer, Thai

‎5. What's your favorite city in the United States?

Eugene, Oregon

You can buy his latest book HERE

LIVING A LIFE NOT WORTH DYING FOR: A review of Noah Cicero's Go To Work And Do Your Job. Care For Your Children. Pay Your Bills. Obey The Law. Buy Products.

Our generation is becoming self-aware of our slavery. Sam Pink with his short novel "Person" and now Noah Cicero with "Go to Work" are indications of a new generation of talented young writers carrying on the torch from Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates.

Western culture is a culture that easily enables mental slavery. Its institutions make it easy for man to enslave itself with "pipe dreams" inspiring him to chase cookie cutter happiness.

Good grades will lead to college, career, marriage, big house, kids, suburbia, BBQs...family vacations which are not all inherently evil but the idea that everyone needs to follow the same path in order to find lasting happiness is a falsehood.

There are many things that can be blamed on this.

The assembly Line turned man into a robot doing the exact same task in endless repetition. Then normal food became fast food. Hour lunch turned into half hour lunch. Highways were built for trucks and urban sprawl was born and you got Office Space by Mike Judge and hundreds of communities that look exactly the same with the same houses, restaurants (Chilli's next to a Friday's next to an Olive Garden) and Office Parks with artificial lakes.

Now we sit all day staring into screens doing basically almost the same tasks as Ford Assembly Line workers.

Work is never just work. Work is what defines us, specially in America.

We are born and pushed into institution after institution until we are dead inside. Your identity goes through many transformations.

We are so far from what man used to be, and now we are turning into something else, a creature that is vain, distracted, selfish, a kind of mechanical agent clouded by noise pollution.

Noah Cicero's "Go to work," captures the modern workplace as good as the movie Office Space.

We follow Michael as he interviews and is hired by a prison called NEOTAP. It's the same story - go to college, get into debt, and then get a job for a company to pay off said debt, get married, buy house, have kids, and get more debt. Eat shitty food, get sick, get into more debt then die.

Michael has just acquired his first debt from college so now he must work like an indentured servant to pay it back. Of course he's not getting paid all that good but at least he has Health insurance now.

The first few pages of "Go To Work" are so perfect they almost read like

Kafka's The Trial. There also echoes of 1984 as you get deeper into the book.

As Mike begins his employment with NEOTAP he is taught about The Five Pillars of Modern Society where the novel's excellent title comes from:

1. Go to work and do your job.

2. Care for your children.

3. Pay your bills.

4. Obey the law.

5. Buy products.

He is told that "If a person does these five things every day of their life they will be responsible and achieve a high level of efficiency. These are the cornerstones of modern society. If everyone in a modern society does these five things, then modern society will run smoothly."

This is what we have always been told. We are worth what we can afford to spend. You are born to consume products. Acquire debt. Get married and have kids in order to get into a 30 year mortgage.

Mike is told not to ask questions. Then co-workers and inmates start disappearing and he is repeatedly told not to ask questions.

He meets Monica, a co-worker, and falls in love. They try not to ask questions. More people disappear. They start asking questions and things start to get quite serious.

Noah Cicero easily goes from The Trial to 1984 then Office Space, followed by a little bit of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo in the shorter, but more confident second part of the novel.

The main character Mike is a full dimensional human that most people can relate to. Specially if you're out of college and searching for a job or are already part of the Rat Race.

As the novel progresses Noah Cicero turns up the intrigue and suspense which ultimately pays off. His story challenges and destroys the things that most Americans feel they need in order to lead meaningful lives just because that's what their parents told them.

Go to Work is an eye opening fast read that will make you think about where you eventually want to be in your own life.

Do you want to be the missing? Do you want to be the cubicle worker that ignores their own unhappiness? The revolutionary that risks their life for a better world? The boyfriend/girlfriend of the missing? Do you want to be you without having to compare to what society says you should do? Do you want a job and get paid? Or like the TV on the Radio song, "Red Dress," do you continue to "live a life not worth dying for."

This is the novel that will help you take your first step. Buy it. Read it. Cherish it. Then pass it to someone else that needs ponder the important things.

Rarity of the Century Inspired Art = #WhatIsRotC

My friend Michael Alfonso just started reading ROTC and he was so inspired, he sent me this art work. If you'd like to check out more of his work, visit his website: http://www.unit49.biz/ . If you're creating any Rarity of the Century art, make sure you use the #WhatIsRotC for Instagram and Twitter sharing.

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